N y woman
Somewhere there are birds
Singing sweet lovely songs
And a guy tells a girl
In her arms he belongs
People say you’ll find the one
If you just look, we guarantee
Well I’ve looked and looked and looked and looked
But there’s no one for me

N y man
Don’t I know it.
I’ve searched this whole island
Queens and brooklyn, even hoboken
But for some of us
Our only true guarantee
Is that our hearts get broken

N y woman
Jersey?

N y man
I got on the wrong train.

Back in the first grade,
I knew this girl.
There was some magic in the notes that we passed
One day, while playin’ in the sand
I made a move to hold her hand.
She said ‘I think that things are movin’ too fast.’

Diana
Huh. Tease.

N y man
Yeah.

N y woman
One time in high school,
I had a crush.
So I thought I’d ask him out to the prom.
But he said, ‘you know what honey?
Though you’re charming and you’re funny,
I love you the way a boy loves his mom.’

Marcy
That’s not good

Ensemble
Oh, why do we do it?
Continue to pursue it?
When it ends up hurting us to the core?

N y woman
It’s because,
Though it sounds corny,
You feel love,

N y man
Or you feel horny.

Ensemble
What do we do it for?

Marcy
At least it got better when we got older

N y woman and diana
Right.

N y man
Yeah right.

I had this good friend
That I loved for years
One day I thought the situation must end
So I said, ‘I love you truly,’
And she responded coolly,
‘Oh, I love you too, but just as a friend.’

Diana
Don’t be friends.

N y woman
I met this great guy
Right here at this bar.
And we talked and talked and talked about life
And he said, ‘my god, you’re pretty,
And you’re interesting, and you’re witty.
You know you remind me a lot of my wife.’

N y man
Sing it girls!

Ensemble
Why do we do it?
There must be something to it.
That keeps us coming right back for more.

Marcy
This thing love,
It keeps me guessing

Diana
This is getting damn depressing

Ensemble
What do we do it for?

N y woman
We try and try and try and try.
It’s as if the gods up in the sky hate us.

Diana
Sing child

N y man
It’s now so bad that I
Am going on a dating hiatus.

N y woman
Oh, I hear you.

I think there is a curse,

Marcy
You know, I’m certain of it because

Diana
Testify

N y woman
Just when it can’t get worse-
Look at here

Diana
Fuck me

Ensemble
It does!

N y man
I’ll just wait here alone at this bar
With each drink,
It’s more depressing and sad.

N y woman
Maybe I should give up dating
‘Cause I feel like I’m just waiting
For a guy to say,
‘You look like my dad.’

Ensemble
Oh…

We keep at it,
Even though we’ve had it,
And the signs are getting hard to ignore.

Marcy
They’re all saying
‘Haha, got you.

Diana
Love’s for people
Who are not you.’

Ensemble
What do we do it for?

N y man
Alright. You ladies want another round?
(Sure)
Okay. We’ll just take it out of her tips.

Yes, but then again,
You just never know.
In a moment he might walk through that door.

Marcy
And he’d stop my heart from sinking

Diana
And my head from over-thinking.

Ensemble
That’s what we do it for.
That’s why we do it,
Why we put our poor selves through it.
That’s what we do it
For…

Diana
Marcy, let’s go.